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lol I'm liking it too just buff it up and get the charcaters down that's what every good story needs. Believable characters. : )
and yeah I went back through and changed a few things...it sounds a whole lot better now. And i'm still changing crap
Some bad grammar here and there, but like you said, it's an outline.
I like the swiftness of it all. But, a bit more descriptions here and there would be nice. Just to spice up the already fun flavor of the story.
Good work in throwing in her history, yet not drawling it out with boredom! I'm no good tossing in a person's history, so usually I go bits at a time over the whole story.
Can't wait to read more!
Yeah I usually don't do a good job of putting the history of the characters out there either but, this one seemed to be easy because of the hardship she was going through.
I also have a hard time putting details in at certain areas, my teachers have always told me that. Ha But I think i've gotten better...slowly but surely (:
Thank you so much for your input! I thought people wouldn't like it as much as I did.